But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
