dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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