I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
