is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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