you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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