What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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