so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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