Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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