well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
