i barfeds in our rink
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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