I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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