oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
