Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
