so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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