____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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