Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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