You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
