Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
