Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize