I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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