she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
