You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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