yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
