oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
