I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
