Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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