even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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