it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
