his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
