Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
