His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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