to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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