I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
