If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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