went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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