hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize