And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
