If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize