Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize