i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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