you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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