I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
