I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
