How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you traded sex for a burrito?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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