What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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