please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
