i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
