fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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