Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
