it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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