she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize