u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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