hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
