Capitaan dildo arrescate!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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