but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
