It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
