is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
