She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
