You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
