I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have aggressive nipples.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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